Mixer 1, Aubrey 0

Well, we have had an interesting few days! With my sweetie in London, I approached my second vein surgery with a little more trepidation than the first. It all turned out alright, but the vein in my left leg was (according to the doctor--and I believe him, mostly based on a sharp intake of breath during the ultrasound he performed as he began the procedure) was 3-4 times larger than the one in my right leg, which was already significantly larger than veins should ever be. So instead of one incision point like I had on my right leg, I came out of surgery the proud owner of seven incision points and "discomfort" to match. Let's just say that the recovery is proving to also be a little more difficult and leave it at that... I AM supremely grateful to wonderful family and friends who have helped me through the last few days, modern medicine, priesthood blessings, and my Savior. And I miss my wonderful Kyle.

So, that surgery was Friday. Saturday Nelly and David very kindly took Aubrey, Laurel, and Eryn to their house for a change of scenery, and while they were there Aubrey ended up falling off the trampoline onto her head and then being kicked in the head accidentally by Eryn for good measure. She reported that is wasn't her most fun day ever.

Then last night, the pièce de résistance--Aubrey somehow got her hair in the stand mixer while she was making a cake. Oh how we have learned from this experience! These are the things we learned: how quickly a girl's hair gets wound up onto the beaters, how even when it is completely wound up and you wouldn't think it could wind any more it keeps winding, how girls panic when things like this happen and forget to do simple things like turn OFF the mixer so the problem stops getting worse, how bald patches happen, what burning hair and skin smell like...

Here's the painful result:

Sweet Aubrey also went into full shock during the experience, going completely white, breathing irregularly, shaking uncontrollably, etc. We were able to stabilize her with standard first aid (elevating her feet, warming her body up, etc.), but it was pretty scary there for a few minutes. (Just so you know, all of that first aid training at girl's camp and scouts actually does pay off in a stressful situation. Go camp!)

I have to say, though, that I am most grateful for what we did NOT learn! Even with the mixer attached to Aubrey's head and all of the girls freaking out, we did not learn what it is like for anyone to lose any fingers or for someone to be scalped... Even though she has a very large (about six inches across) lump on her head and is sporting that lovely new bald spot, Aubrey actually feels quite grateful, too. It could have been MUCH worse!

There was a funny moment, too, as there always is...

Between my hobbling over to the kitchen to find out what all the screaming was and getting the mixer turned off/beginning to detangle my child from the evil small appliance, in her panic Aubrey started screaming, "Just cut it off me, please, just cut my hair off and get it off me--it's hurting so bad!" She was convincing enough that Laurel went for the kitchen shears and was inches away from Aubrey's head when I stopped her, asking her to hold off on giving her sister a mohawk and give me a chance to actually get the mixer off Aubrey's head without losing all of her hair. As most of the hair on the right side of her head was wound around the beaters and up inside of the mixer AND it was right next to her scalp, this would have left Aubrey with literally no hair on that side of her head. When it was all said and done, Aubrey thanked me repeatedly for NOT cutting all her hair off. Apparently, twelve year old girls don't like the idea of being completely bald on one side. Go figure!

Needless to say, the days of the kids being allowed to use the stand mixer are now officially over!

Out to Pasture...

I now know what's going to happen to me when I get older and my body starts going...

When Kyle's parents were visiting for Eryn's baptism, Don was talking about the difficulties his mother is facing as her Alzheimers progresses. After listening with compassion, my sweet Laurel said this: "Well, why don't you just put her down--that's what they do to horses, you know."

Ah, feel the love...

I don't think I'll be giving her my address when I get older...

Heebie Jeebies...

At 5:30 this morning, Jess and I went to pick up the girl that we carpool with for seminary, but she had slept in. So I took Jess to seminary and decided to just wait for her until class was over at 6:30 instead of driving back and forth. In my maternal naivete, I assumed that my other four children would get out of bed on time, get ready for school, and all would be well when I returned home--with perfect children greeting me with happy faces, everyone ready to go to school, and the house having been miraculously cleaned by the cleaning fairy.

Instead, this is what I learned:

1. Children over the age of eight will actually get up and start getting ready without their mother around. Yeah!
2. However, they will also let the dog out of his crate because they feel sorry for him, but then they will not watch him. Not yeah.
3. Dogs will eat anything they can reach; chocolate cakes left too close to the edge of the kitchen counter by a kid are no exception.
4. Plastic packaging does not keep dogs out of chocolate cake.
5. Chocolate is toxic for dogs.
6. When a dog ingests chocolate, vomiting must be induced immediately.
7. All of the online vets agree that the best way to induce vomiting is with hydrogen peroxide.
8. Movers throw out hydrogen peroxide.
9. No stores anywhere close to our house that carry hydrogen peroxide are open before eight in the morning.
10. There is a Walgreens definitely NOT close to our house that stays open 24 hours.
11. There is MUCH traffic in our area in the morning.
12. Children stop getting ready for school when their mother is driving around trying to find hydrogen peroxide.
13. Dogs do not like the taste of hydrogen peroxide.
14. The vets are right; hydrogen peroxide does induce vomiting -- A LOT OF IT!
15. A dog's body holds an incredible amount of stuff. It comes out both ends in great quantities. They then try to eat it.
16. When a dog has (unbeknownst to you) chewed multiple holes in a garden hose and then you turn on the faucet full blast to clean up said stuff so that the dog won't eat it, you get VERY wet.
17. Having said stuff on his paws and face does not keep a dog from jumping up on you for attention.
18. When you are cleaning up all the piles of stuff and trying really hard not to also vomit, you will find that dog poop left overnight in the rain in autumn in Texas grows mold that makes it look like large fuzzy caterpillars, but definitely not the cute kind and significantly more smelly.
19. Cleaning up the entire mess takes a long time.
20. You can't wash the heebie-jeebies away no matter how long you stand in the shower.
21. Beginning your day like this makes you wonder why you got up

...and why you have the dog...

and why you keep him...

(and the children...)

Anybody want a dog? He's cute... : )